Not My Own
the old rugged cross is a heavy one...
I am not allowed to say “It is difficult”, that privilege was taken from me. I am not allowed to say “I don’t know” because people are counting on me. I am not allowed to say, “I’m not feeling well” when a handful is due today. I am not allowed to say, “I can’t do it”, but thank God, I can pray.
How I wish I didn’t know as much as the little that I already do, or at least they didn’t know what God made me capable to do. My little shoulders can only bear as much and my heart is not made of stone. I am not allowed to say “No”, because my life is not my own.
At first, I was complaining to God, yet, when I remembered how much He’s done for me, I was mortified and He made me realize how selfish I have become. I’m not erasing the first entry, but here’s the overhauled poem, following His rebuke upon me…:
Not My Own
Who am I to say “It is difficult”, that privilege was taken from me. Who am I to to say “I don’t know” when people are counting on me. Who am I to to say, “I’m not feeling well” when a handful is due today. Who am I to say, “I can’t do it”, when thank God, I can still pray.
I sometimes wish I didn’t know as much as the little that I already know, or at least they didn’t know what God made me capable to do. Though my little shoulders can only bear as much and my heart is not made of stone, still, who am I to say “No”, when I know my life is not my own.
Thank You, Jesus…