I had been through one of the worst weeks last week and if I didn’t know better, I would have thought God had forgotten about my situation (and pretty much our situation in the office, as a whole). I spread several years before me, those moments I stood up for what I believed in and lived for, only to witness them crumble down before my very eyes. Tears rolled down my face and my heart thumped in fear at what appeared as a bleak future looming ahead. I felt weak. I had long outgrown my wobbly knees, I thought, but for the first time in years, they are back to match the beating of my embattled heart. I thought I would fall to the ground and no one would help me up.
I couldn’t recount the minutest detail of what I had gone through emotionally, psychologically and physically, but I was glad I remembered Jesus Christ before everything inside me shut down. I started with Why questions, and then came the Hows. Finally, I asked: “Lord, who will stay beside me while I go through this trial? Who will be with me — is there anyone I can still trust knowing that in every person a betrayer is sleeping and needs only to be awakened? Is there anyone I can trust who will value friendship over money and not the other way around?”
All of a sudden, the lyrics of an old song surfaced in my mind and I began to recite it silently, solemnly…
Be strong and take courage
Do not fear or be dismayed
For the LORD will go BEFORE you
And His light will show the way…
Right there while on board that jeepney on my way to the office, God had a firm grip on my being, a tight hold on my heart as He reminded me of one of His promises neatly tucked inside that old song.
The LORD will go before you.
And then, I searched Biblos, and found an amazing verse: “You will not leave in a hurry, running for your lives. For the LORD will go ahead of you; yes, the God of Israel will protect you from behind.” (Isaiah 52:12)
Wow! He was saying, “I will not only stand or walk side by side with you. No. I, the Lord has spoken that I will not only fight alongside you. I will go BEFORE you! And as I do, I will also watch your back. And guess what, I did finish it all on the cross! Tetelestai!”
I am reminded of Jesus’ selfless sacrifice — He went BEFORE me and died for me so that in His suffering I shall receive victory over death. Jesus did not merely fight side by side with me, but He led the way, fought my enemy in my stead, and won the victory for me so that I would never have to fight it alone and fail.
And as if that weren’t enough, He guards me from behind and assures me that He takes care of what I cannot face or see as I move forward, and gives me push in the right direction. He wants me to make it to heaven. What a wonderful Savior!
I will still have to face the trial up to its conclusion as the Lord would have it, but I am encouraged that I will not fight it alone — the LORD will go before me, and His light will show the way.